I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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