he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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