plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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