Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
