Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
