Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
