we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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