Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
