Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
