if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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