I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize