Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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