How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize