Soap is not a condiment
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
