Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
