Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
