I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
