You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
