i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
