He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
