I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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