I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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