when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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