Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
