i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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