You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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