Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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