i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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