I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
