I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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