the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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