so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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