well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
