your thong is hanging out like whoa
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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