hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
