You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
