Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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