she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
