I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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