Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
