I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I would fuck him just for his dog
So. Much. Porn.
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