I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
