Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
