everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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