Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
