He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
