Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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