So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
