I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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