I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
