I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize