um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
