He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
