I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
