i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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