Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
