I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
