God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
