New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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