Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
