: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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