She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My Higher Power is John Stamos
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
