my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
