She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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